One day at a time…

These past few weeks have been really difficult for some people I know. There have been a few deaths, and in each case young people in their 50’s — young by my standard at least!! I was putting together a little care package to send to Katie and Joey in Calgary whose beautiful and loving mother died recently at age 55. I found this comforting little book in our local Christian book store. It is called ‘Grief Therapy’ by Karen Katafiasz. I love it because the wisdom contained within it is simple and easy to digest.

Herewith, I will share a few suggestions from the book, which may help if you are grieving the loss of a loved one, or it could be a relationship which went South…or a pet’s passing — or any loss for that matter!

Respect the power of grief. Know that it can affect you psychologically, physically, and spiritually in intense and sometimes surprising ways. Stay gentle with yourself.

Tackle the emptiness. When you feel that your loss has drained your life of all direction or meaning or joy, present your nothingness to God. God has never been closer. Ask not ‘Why?’ but rather ‘What?’ is the meaning God wants you to take from this loss.

Stay connected to others. You need their presence, their support, their concern, their listening, their hugs. You need not be alone in your grief.

Be with those who are also grieving. As you tell your stories, you will share an understanding of the heart that is deeper than words.

Let your grief be personal. In a letter, a poem, a drawing, a journal entry — or even in an imaginary conversation with the one you have lost (I keep a photo of my Dad in the kitchen and talk to him regularly!) Pour out the feelings you may never have had the chance to express. This will foster healing.

Celebrate your loved one with your own memories and the memories that others share with you. This celebration will keep your loved one with you and a part of you always. Celebrate your deceased loved one’s birthday, Have their photo on a Christmas tree decoration, etc.

Sometimes the best thing to do is to comfort yourself with small pleasures: a cup of tea, freshly cut flowers, a soothing bath or a good book, moments by the fire…

Time really does heal…just take it One-day-at-a-time!

Hugs,

Patricia